Don't turn out the light
by Cid Dante
Summary: Mild VinCid, rewritten. Vincent tells Cid why he loves him and why he needs that light...i will change the rating when asked to.


This is the new version of the story that I had up previously on the website...I wasn't happy with the last one so i just had the urge to redo it. Hopefully, it's okay? Okay...my spellchecker isn't working so I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense...it should....  
it's a more grisly start, so, fanfiction, I've warned them...

Disclaimer: Do not own Final Fantasy VII or Evanesscence  
  
_Catch me as I fall  
Say you're here and it's all over now  
Speaking to the atmosphere  
No one's here and I fall into myself  
This truth drive me Into madness  
I know I can stop the pain  
If I will it all away  
  
_What sleep I had gotten over the past few hours wasn't pleasant, nor was it restful. It felt like I was coughing up my internal organs and my throat felt like sandpaper. I held my useless arm close to my chest and feebly attempted to stand.  
  
That idea was short lived as I crashed to the floor in a heap, a sickening crack filling my ears as I went. A morbid thought passed through my slowly numbing mind, should I play the name game and find out what bone broke?  
  
Somehow, don't ask me how, I staggered down the dank and musty corridor, blood dripping from all the cuts and wounds I had received from that bastard. Every cough felt like it was tearing through my lungs and throat. The butcher stitching he left me with on my stomach slowly beginning to burst open as I took each step. I could hear the sickening slurping of my blood as it slowly pooled in my boots.  
  
My inner thighs are suddenly warm...for a split second, I wonder if I've had a 'little accident' but with my failing vision, I see that it's red. For some reason, that seemed to give me some dignity, something that Hojo hadn't taken from me. the dignity was short lived...why was I bleeding there?  
  
I stopped my painful journey and sway dizzily from side to side, debating whether I should lift up my shirt and see the horror that lay waiting. Curiousty seemed to get the better of me and I lean heavily agaisnt the wall. My shirt sticking to what girls would swoon over.  
  
What little vanity and dignity I had remaining was slowly fading at an incredable rate. I had been almost certain that she would have left with me...that she would have saved me from this. She didn't.  
  
She did come and speak with me once, saying how sorry she was that this had happened and that she had never meant for us to carry on for as long as we did or...at least I think she did.  
  
I couldn't hear her words, even though she was right in front of me. I heard the footsteps as she walked away and that horrid click...that sounded like a gunshot and I think I cried out then.  
  
Just like I cry out now. I have a hole in my stomach...about the size of a fist, very badly stitched.  
  
Like someone had done a real piss poor job of a child's paint by numbers as well, my skin surrounding the wound...black, blue, red...all putrid colours and I throw up. The wall slimy is ice like to my good hand. I dragged myself to the stairwell that felt like it was on the other side of the planet. My normally prestine uniform soiled and ruined, my blood staining the normally crisp white shirt a rather off maroon colour. My normally warm jacket felt nothing more than a t-shirt and that I had foolishly worn it in the cold north at the Icicle Village.  
  
If I could only reach those stairs, if I could somehow make my way to the sleepy town across the mountain. Hell, I would even have settled for the fucking door out of this hellhole, if I did that, I figured I might be okay.  
  
No one answered my cries for help, no one even knew I was down here. Except him…except the man who had put me down here. The world slowly turning cold and dark. My eyesight failing me as I fell to my knees. Again, my dignity sparks up. I might have fallen but I didn't fall in front of him.  
  
My body refused to follow my will, pain seared across my back. The pain was unbearable and I'll admit that I cried out like a little girl then. I couldn't stop the pain or the tears.  
  
_I can stop the pain_, a voice said from within my hazy pained filled mind, _if you let me.  
_  
I don't know what was more frightening, the fact that I now was hearing voices or the fact that I was actually prepared to listen to it. I slid to the floor, the pain over coming me.  
  
Any answer that I would have given was silenced by that new pastime I had taken up. The coughing now felt like someone was shoving knives down my insides.  
  
Ever the gentlemen, I hacked into my hand. The lessons of Matron ringing in my ears, 'Proper gentlemen do not cough into the air. They cover their mouths.' Tears streaming down my blood stained face, my usually neat and tidy hair hung like rat tails. What would Matron say about me now? Did my parents ever think about what their child would be when he grew up or were they more interested in holding the partys and smooching to the idiotic high aristocrats that they favoured?  
  
Blood dripped out of my mouth and onto my hand. It pooled for a few minutes but then began to dribble slowly from the spaces between my fingers.  
  
_I can stop the pain,_ the voice repeated, _if you let me.  
_  
I had nothing to lose, I let it.  
  
_Don't turn away  
(Don't give in to the pain)  
Don't try to hide  
(Though they're screaming your name)  
Don't close your eyes  
(God knows what lies behind them)  
Don't turn out the light  
(Never sleep never die)  
_  
I remember the looks of fear you all gave me when I first transformed. I honestly didn't realise what I was doing until I actually did it. It was a big ass surprise for me too. After I transformed, after I became me again, everyone turned away. Shunned me…they all claimed that they needed time, that they didn't understand and were still 'adjusting'.  
  
At night, before you came, I was alone. No matter how hard that damn cheery Aeris tried to pretend that she wasn't scared shitless of me, she was. I could see it in her eyes.  
  
What was worse, I could see the pity she held for me in her eyes.  
  
I didn't need or want the pity that they all seemed to think I required. They gave me space though, time to think about why I was travelling with them.  
  
To kill the son of the woman who I thought loved me. Maybe I would join them in all the battles and perhaps even go with them to battle Sephiroth but...perhaps I wouldn't. I wasn't really interested in killing the boy, I wanted my time with Hojo.  
  
My five minutes alone with him.  
  
However…when you came…I…I have to be honest and say that while it probably wasn't the best idea stealing the baby pink plane. I'm glad we did it. It meant that I wasn't the only former Shin-Ra employee that Barret could scream at. While I would take it, you would hurl insults right back at him.  
  
You were enough of a pain in the ass for near enough the entire planet. You refused to take the jibes and insults that Barret threw at you. I was amazed at how you would both seperate when the small and naive Aeris would break you up. It was like watching David and Goliath doing battle when you annoyed the hell out of him.  
  
When it came to staying at the Gold Saucer for the night, I couldn't have been more horrified. To say I was appalled by the huge monstrosity of it, was putting it mildly. It was…and still is an eye sore.  
  
I think I was more afraid of what I was becoming, afraid that I was no longer me. Afraid of the little voice that had helped me all those years ago.  
  
Being surrounded by all the lights and noise scared me but in a way, I craved it like a drug. I had to be around the living, even if it was just watching it. That was what she had given me...fear of the darkness. I had wondered for all those years.  
  
Even when she and Hojo hammered in the nails in my resting place, I could hear the gunshot like blows being rammed into place. Sealing me in for the next few thousand years, sealing me to my fate but I could still hear her. I could hear your tears as they fell onto the stunningly beautiful mahogany casket.  
  
I was quite content to sit in the darkness but you came and dragged me to the Wonder Square, muttering something about not spending the evening alone. The night had been great and I should have thanked you better but you were always on the move, never stopping long enough for me to do that.  
  
Had I been a lot more secure with myself, I would have asked what you were running from. What you're still running from as you never seem to settle.  
  
I was exhausted by the time we got back to the room but happy. Even though you couldn't see the smile, I was smiling with you. Even when you had turned red when you had won that large pink mog.  
  
You seemed to have fed off my depressive state and turned that energy into something useful.  
  
Made me feel a little bit more positive about being in the group. You never judged and you never seemed to question me with your eyes.  
  
I thought you would have made fun of me as I asked you to leave the light on. After the sounds and colours of the whole Gold Saucer experience, I was reluctant to have my impromto companion taken from me tonight. I wanted to take your hand and hold you.  
  
After spending so many years alone and scared in the dark, I didn't want to have the light taken from me. You didn't poke fun and that puzzled me. You smiled and nodded as though it happened all the time. You pulled off your boots and your jacket and climbed into the bed with me.  
  
I could feel how cold you were in the room as you wrapped your arms around me, I didn't ask you to but I didn't deny you either. Dutifully, I pulled the covers up around us and I could hear every breath you took. You looked so cute as you shivered against me.  
  
If ever there was a point to tell you how I ended up in the group, now would be the best time. When else would we have the chance to speak like this? Just the two of us, alone, cuddled up beside each other.  
  
At that point I was feeling more confident, your sky blue eyes slowly closing as you tried to take in the tale I just told you about what I tried to do. I so wanted to kiss you then, just to let you know that I did feel something and that I wanted to thank you. The kiss I stole from you was well timed and you didn't run away.  
  
You didn't turn away when I went for a second or a third one. All the kisses were soft and delicate, like we were both afraid of hurting one another. We let passion almost get the better of us, I pull you further down on the bed and try to take more off you. I was so desperate to be close to someone but incredibly nervous but those hands.  
  
Everytime I tugged on your shirt tails, trying vainly to get the garment from off, you would squirm under my touch. You still looked so cute, call it a fetish or something but you looked incredibly sexy with the tousled hair and the goggles.  
  
You pulled me into a kiss, your tongue slowly, painfully slowly tasting me. I think you muttered somthing about your mother warning you about dirty minded old men before pushing me back onto the mattress.  
  
Sorry...but I prefer being on top. Even though we didn't get up to anything that night, I was glad that I had you. I was glad that you saw past the scars and that you were going to allow this to mature on it's own. Night by night, day by day before we commited ourselves that way. I felt like a nervous virgin bride on her wedding night...I still do when you come to bed with those goggles on.  
  
We slept with the light on, at my request. You buried your head in my shoulder and curled up close, kicking up the feelings that I once had for her...I could hear her tears and footsteps slowly fading in my mind as I switch on the other bedside lamp.  
  
_I'm frightened by what I see  
But somehow I know  
That there's much more to come  
Immobilized by my fear  
And soon to be  
Blinded by tears  
I can stop the pain  
If I will it all away_  
  
Looking deep into the Northern Crater I could barely see the ledge a few hundred feet below us. I could hear the almost silent roars of the mako drenched monsters down there.  
  
I'm scared.  
  
I don't know what scares me more, the fact that I know what will happen if we don't win or the fact that I don't know what will happen if we succeed.  
  
This is more than I thought I do in my life, hell, I didn't think that I would be alive this long.  
  
Standing here with you seemed to make it a little bit more normal. Made it seem like it was going to be okay, we just had to take it one step at a time.  
  
Cloud told us to go find our reasons, where were you headed? No one knew but you. Rocket town? I get the idea that it wasn't…deep down in your heart you know that while it might have been a nice place to live, you didn't intend to spend your last night alive there.  
  
I was afraid that you wouldn't even have came back, the words you had told Cloud rang in my ears. Maybe aint none of us will come back.  
  
I came back for you. I made my peace with my demons and opened my heart to allow the angels in. If you hadn't…well, I would have missed you. I enjoyed the nights we shared, looked forward to living my life with you. When you get…if, if we get out of this alive, you have to tell me where you went. I feel kinda stupid for saying this but, I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.  
  
_Don't turn away (Don't give in to the pain)  
Don't try to hide (Though they're screaming your name)  
Don't close your eyes (God knows what lies behind them)  
Don't turn out the light (Never sleep never die)  
_  
Seven months later  
  
"You didn't turn away, not once throughout our time together. Never once did you hide from what happened. Always helping when I needed you. Your eyes always open to who I truly was. Seeing past all the masks I wore, all the demons that took my form.  
  
And for never turning out that light that I need so much. For always being the light that I really needed.  
  
For all those reasons and more, that is why I love you."  
  
The crowd gathered were smiling, tears of joy were flowing and ruining the make up of nearly all the females gathered. The ceremony had been amazing, both people were completly and madly in love with each other but could still drive the other insane.  
  
It was like they were the only two in the marble floored structure the way the pair ignored the rest of the guests. The sun was shining warmly and filled the enitre atmosphere with happiness. A faint but delicate aroma of flowers could be smelt in the air surrounding the Forgotten City.  
  
"It is with the greatest of pleasure then," the small feline like gentleman grinned, "that I bless you. May your lives be filled with the love of ages and the...um..."  
  
The two lovers smiled as they blushed, it had been spur of the moment to get the blessing but they had given Reeve enough time to remember the ceremony and the words. The soft spoken man had done well, getting most of the words right but it seemed to stumble at the end. Reeve took a deep breath, looking like he had remembered the forgotten words. However, he gave them a cheeky grin and a wink before continueing.  
  
"Sydney Highwind and Vincent Valentine are blessed on this amazingly bueatiful day, surrounded by all those who love and care for them. Due to laws, they cannot commit to holy matrimony but, it does allow us to perform blessings. I am honoured, under the law of the Cetra, to bless these two souls and wish them nothing but love and the strength to overcome everything that is thrown at them. May they weather the good and the bad times together and never forget as to why they love each other."  
  
Reeve took a deep breath, he loved making people happy and he felt so peaceful here. He understood why the two had chosen this as a spot for the blessing. They had wanted to show the planet that love was still alive and well.  
  
"So, Cid, Vincent, all we need now is for you to seal the blessing," Reeve couldn't help but be amazed at the two men in front of him, "Vincent, you may kiss the bride."  
  
The 'bride' was about to say something when his lips were captured by Vincent. He could feel the love and the tenderness on his partner's lips and he pouted a little when pulled away.  
  
Cid pulled Vincent closer into a tight hug, "I so love you."  
  
That's all I ever needed to hear from you Cid, I know you love me and god, I love you so much.  
  
Vincent smiled as he whispered, "Not as much as I love you."


End file.
